F.O.T.M. (aka me) is proud to present another new feature, that will be not new by next week. Today, we are rolling out The Three – three things I want to talk about under one umbrella. A stunning, never-before-seen feature that will undoubtedly be discussed for years to come.
In the case that you don’t make it to the end of the article, I would appreciate you keeping that to yourself and PRETENDING to talk about The Three for the rest of eternity. Thank you.
The Three – Week One – Little Nothing Moments
Little Nothing Moments are those moments that are just for you. The moments in life that you don’t know if anyone else would ever appreciate as much as you, and in these moments you don’t even care. They are your moments, and you revel in them so much you can’t even handle yourself. You wait for them, and when you know they’re coming, you wiggle and squirm like you’re a six-year-old at Christmas.
Here are three of my favourite Little Nothing Moments.
1.) THE PART IN SONGS WHERE IT GOES ALL QUIET AND THE DRUMS START UP AGAIN
The song is rocking, you’re singing your lungs out in traffic (or the office, or the shower, or wherever you do your best diva-ing) and the chorus reaches its crescendo. Then it hits. The singer tones it down to barely a whisper, and repeats a few words of the chorus, and then in come those glorious drums. The song builds, and you’re breaking your own eardrums with your terrible (mine is pitch perfect and not a bit strident in high songs) singing all over again.
2.) WHENEVER YOUR CHARACTER GETS A NEW POWER IN VIDEO GAMES
You’re flying high above the city, cruising around with your smoke jets or your electro-boots, or your yellow-sun-of-Earth-infused general awesomeness. Oh no, the bad guys are coming, and oh no, they have a new weapon. What are you going to do?
That’s right. Beat them up. Humanely, of course, unless you’ve chosen the Path of Evil.
Once they’re beaten, the new weapon is broken down into its various parts and the element at its core. Where does that element go? Back to the lab it came from? To the military complex that’s trying to stifle people like you with all these fancypants powers?
Nope. You walk next to it and suck it up through your arms and then you can shoot pure energy out of your eyeballs.
And I love it. It makes me so happy to shoot pretend energy out of my eyeballs. I honestly feel like I’ve accomplished something.
3.) WHEN MY KIDS SAY SOMETHING I DID IS THEIR FAVOURITE VERSION OF THAT THING EVER
Yup, external validation. I know I’m not supposed to go looking for it. I know that building any sense of confidence and well-being on it is the road to self-doubt and low self esteem, but I can’t help it.
When I’ve made a meal, and my kids eat the hell out of it with no complaints or barely-touched plates, that’s already enough. When they’re lifting up the bowl and licking out the bottom (because I’m a terrible father who needs to teach my sons some table manners before seeking praise for doing my job) and then telling me that the meal was their favourite thing they’ve ever eaten, that’s just the best.
When I make them choke down steamed broccoli the next night, the hatred of all things at Restaurant a la Dad comes roaring back with a vengeance. And I get all the ice cream.
Any suggestions for a Three you would like to see tackled by F.O.T.M.? Let us know in the comments below. Thank you, and good evening.