It’s the new year (which so many people capitalize, but it doesn’t warrant a capital. We don’t throw a big N and a big D for new day, so why does year, which is just a large collection of days, get the special treatment) and the resolutions are being bandied about like so many empty promises. Lose weight, eat less, be kinder, call my mother more (which reminds me) and countless others are thrown around at this time year, all to be abandoned in less than a month.
One of the most popular resolutions is ‘getting more exercise.’ A commendable goal, to be sure. And if you are one of the stalwart few that manages to make the resolution, get it started, and stay with it, I doff my cap to you. At least I would if I wore a cap and knew how to doff it.
I am guilty of making this resolution. Many, many times. I have started the new regime. Again, many times. I have completed entire rounds of Tony Horton’s legalized torture practice; P90X. I’ve had Jillian Michaels yell at me via the magic of DVD. I’ve even watched that ponytailed Asian dude’s ‘you want to have six-pack abs, and eat like a pig’ Youtube videos.
I’ve even tried…ulp…gag…retch…jogging.
And I’ve lost weight. Gained muscle. Felt great. All of the things those quacks in science say come along with using your body in a more effective manner.
But then I stop. I just stop. And it takes months to get started again. Sometimes years.
I know the reasons to keep exercising.
1.) To not die.
2.) To feel better until I do die.
3.) To get better rest at night so I can be well-rested when I die.
4.) To keep up with my kids and not be a colostomy bag in a wheelchair when they’re teenagers, due to poor choices as opposed to being dealt an unlucky hand.
So, there it is. Number four’s the real kicker. We’re all going to die, some time or another, and if I feel great before I shuffle off this mortal coil, bonus. While I’m down here for this one trip around the solar system, I’d like to enjoy it as best I can.
So, Internet, I pose this question to you. How do I keep exercising? What is my hangup? Why do I finish the ’round’ and just stop? How do I build a routine for myself that I will stick to forever?
Thank you, and good evening.