World’s Dumbest Interview II: My Long-Suffering and Amazing Wife Sacrifices Herself to the Dumb

Here we are with Round Two of the World’s Dumbest Interview. The questions are the same, and just as dumb. The results, however, may be skewed because the interviewee is exponentially more intelligent than the interviewer this time around. FOTM apologizes in advance for anyone’s IQ levels, or happiness, and should probably include a waiver in next week’s interview.

FOTM would also like to thank this week’s interviewee for staying with him this long, despite this being yet another link in the long chain of sacrificial offerings in the name of jokes.

FOTM: Wife. Hello. Fancy seeing you here.

WIFE: Why? I live here.

FOTM: Ah, good point. Good point. I see you’re going to be a tough nut to crack.

WIFE: Is this going to take long?

FOTM: Very well, very well. Let’s press on, shall we?

WIFE: Press away.

FOTM: If you could have a meal named after you, what would it be?

WIFE: Bacon.

FOTM: Most clench-worthy experience?

WIFE: Giving birth.

FOTM: You are an omniscient, all-powerful being staring down at the planet. What’s the first thing you do?

WIFE: Make an Ogopogo, and I would fly over the mountains. I really like the idea of creating mythical monsters, and then watching them wreak havoc on humanity.

FOTM: Best movie villain ever?

WIFE: Darth Vader, ‘cuz he’s awesome and he can Force Choke people and he has the best outfit and a cape and I had an orange Darth Vader lunchbox when I was a kid and it rocked.

FOTM: Last one. Would you seek refuge in the stars or go down with the planet?

WIFE: Going down with the planet. Where would we live in the stars? Some floating tin can in the sky with no air and the memories of the glory of trees and ocean haunting our every waking moment? No.

FOTM: Thank you, me. This has been most insightful.

I found me a gem, folks. I’m just glad I’m on her side.

If anyone would like to subject themselves to the World’s Dumbest Interview, and wouldn’t mind having their answers posted here at F.O.T.M., please submit your name in the comments below, and you too can be part of this hideous adventure!

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