World’s Dumbest Interview III: Tobin Smith, ACTUAL Father of the Millenium and Photographer Extraordinaire

Fridays are widely regarded as one of the greatest days of the week. They’re right up there with Saturdays. They might even be a little bit better, because you have all that delicious anticipation of Saturday all Friday long.

What that has to do with the third World’s Dumbest Interview, I do not know. But F.O.T.M. has never gone out of its way to make sense, and will continue to avoid logic for the foreseeable future.

Without further ado, because there’s just so much ado floating around these days, F.O.T.M. is proud to present the World’s Dumbest Interview III. Our victim guest today is Tobin Smith, father of two and co-founder of PhoTobin, a Vancouver-based photography company run by Tobin and his wife, Sarah. Check out PhoTobin at http://www.photobinphotography.com.

He also makes amazing waffles.

And now, the true reason anyone has ever gone to the Internet – the World’s Dumbest Interview.

FOTM: And a very happy Friday to you, Mr. Tobin Smith. Are you excited for this outstanding interview?

TOBIN: (silence)

FOTM: Are you prepared for just how dumb this is going to be?

TOBIN: Admittedly, I believe I am. Does that speak to success of your branding?

FOTM: You are an enigma and a mystery, all rolled into one giant question.

TOBIN: That’s true. Although the question has yet to be asked.

FOTM: If you could have a meal named after you, what would it be?

TOBIN: Well my wife would say they’d have to simply rename Dorito’s (or nachos) because I’m corny and cheesy, but I would prefer have something complex, delicious, healthy and light tasting, yet deceptively filling. That meal sounds like an enigma and mystery all rolled into one satisfied stomach.

FOTM: Most clench-worthy experience?

TOBIN: Probably being a parent, running my own creative business and taking care of my wife who suffered a brain injury a year ago (she is doing better, she is not yet recovered but it does take a lot less of me now). I still wake up almost every morning with a sore jaw. I think my dentist would have some choice words for me and force me to have some kind of mouth guard. Like sleeping has become a contact sport.

FOTM: You are an omniscient, all-powerful being staring down at the planet. What’s the first thing you do?

TOBIN: I’m assuming by “the planet” you mean earth and not Saturn or Uranus… there is that the level of humour we’re resorting to? The ‘first thing I do?” Is that like… I’ve just made this planet? Like I’ve made earth? Then I’m not just ‘an omniscient, all powerful being”. I’m God. Or are there many of us, like a society of omniscient beings? You need to be more clear. I’m not going to walk out of this, but… sorry you did say I should prepare for how dumb this was going to be. I guess I wasn’t as prepared as I thought. So forgetting that. If I’m an ‘omniscient being that just made the planet’, then wouldn’t this be the second thing I do?  Sorry overthinking your dumb question again. I guess my gut reaction was to go use go take a picture of it… but probably drink a big class of water to wash it down with. Yes, I’d probably drink the planet. Who knows what kind of universe may exist in my tummy.

FOTM: Best movie villain ever?

TOBIN: Not a movie but a TV series, I think Frank Underwood of House of Cards is the amongst the best villains I have ever seen.

FOTM: Last one. Would you seek refuge in the stars or go down with the planet?

TOBIN: From the TV/Movie villain? Or just ‘hey there’s an alien invasion’? I’m a survivor. I’d seek refuge in the stars.

FOTM: Thank you, me. This has been most insightful.

TOBIN: To us both. Now please stop calling and breathing heavy into my phone in the middle of the night.

This concludes the interview. Please tune in next week for even more outstanding dumbness.

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