The Three – Bad, Writer! Bad!

My wife and I adore watching movies together. Good movies, bad movies, and everything in between. We are always willing to suspend our disbelief for all but the most far-fetched of cinematic ideas, and have liked (tolerated) a fair number of films that were universally reviled.

That’s not to say we don’t watch with our brains in jars on the bookshelf. (We read, too. Aren’t we amazing?) We swallow a heaping spoonful of crap dialogue, and almost every movie made has at least a clunky line or two that doesn’t sound like actual conversation.

We are therefore proposing a list. A list of the most cliched lines that are trotted out in nearly every form of media, but stick out the most in movies because it’s a visual and auditory medium. In a book, you can just read the line and have done with it. In the film version, you have to watch it being spoken, hear it out loud, AND feel sorry for the poor actor that had to try to make it work.

I give you my top three most cliched lines.

1.) RUN FOR IT!

Honestly, if you’ve ever found yourself in a life-or-death, or even be-hurt-or-flee situation in your life, how many times did you take a full ten seconds to look at all your super-hot friends and scream ‘RUN FOR IT!?’

No times. That’s how many.

2.) YOU DON’T HAVE CLEARANCE!

But I bet you all the money that’s ever been made in the history of the universe that I’ll still get through that door somehow, because I’m either a plucky redhead who’s being forced to wear high heels in a job where I run everywhere, or I’m a rugged type that never shaves in a job that would have a strict dress and facial hair code in real life. Here’s my clearance right here!

3.) I CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!

Then stop being a dick to her. End of chat.

There are countless others, and then there’s the whole wonderful world of just plain bad lines. The one-offs so stinky they have a bigger following than the movie itself. I would love to hear some of your favourites.

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One thought on “The Three – Bad, Writer! Bad!”

  1. Before countless make out scenes…

    God you’re beautiful.
    or
    Do you know how beautiful you are?

    It just annoys me. Not that I’ve made out with an insane amount of people, but I guarantee you that if I stated that phrase right before I was planning on making out with someone for the first time, my middle name would fast become the word, “rejection.” I call my wife beautiful all of the time. I definitely did not say, “God you’re beautiful” right before I kissed her for the first time.

    Sorry. It simply annoys me for some reason to no end.

    Like

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